nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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