So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
we're making bets on your personal life
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
