he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
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Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
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I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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