My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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