Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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