There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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