this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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