I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
