I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
