She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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