We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize