I'm lost and stupid without you.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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