I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
