the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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