okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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