Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
