I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
two words: eviction party
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
