She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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