Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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