question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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