carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
