I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
