hell yes lets make some ravioli
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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