$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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