Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Who died my cat blue again?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
