im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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