so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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