I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
