Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Boobs speak an international language.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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