if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
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what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
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look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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