I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
