Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Dick very happy bro
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
