Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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