ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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