You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize