smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
