I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
