Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you

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(916): View more from California

I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule

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(303): View more from Colorado

Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.

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(417): View more from Missouri

I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.

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(623): View more from Arizona

I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.

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(810): View more from Michigan

its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU

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(631): View more from New York

Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.

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(757): View more from Virginia

You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation

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(905): View more from Ontario

its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there

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