Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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