After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
