i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
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omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
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I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.