"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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