Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.