Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code