All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
