i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
