we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize