true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
