Plan B is the new Plan A
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
