"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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