It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
