This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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