He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
