New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
