Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
