I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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