when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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