After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
