guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
