its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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