Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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