the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
