my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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