Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
