I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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