Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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