dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
